When I was little, my entire world revolved around growing up and falling in love. Ever since I knew what love was, I wanted to experience it, the goods and the bads. When I got my first boyfriend, I immediately convinced myself that I was in love, even though I was only 9. When I had my first kiss, I did it again, I told myself that the only possible outcome for the way I felt was that I was in love, by this time I was 12. I didn’t know what love was, I hadn’t felt love, and I didn’t understand the true consequences that come from falling in love. I was 13 when my eyes came across yours for the first time, and I felt something go off in my stomach, but I ignored it. I was 14 when you first kissed me, and from that point on I knew I was addicted. Once again, I told myself that it was love, and although I was right, I still didn’t know what I was talking about. I was 15 when I experienced my first heartbreak, I was 15 when I realised that I had just lost my very first love. I was 15 when I realised that my world had gotten up and left. And I was 15 when I realised that I should have spent my younger years playing instead of fantasying about love because love is no fantasy. Love is the feeling of a rollercoast, having the thrills as you go up to the big drop, and then having your stomach drop so fast as you hit rock bottom.
To the one who loves him next,
He has the hardest time opening up, I hate to say this but, try to not be like me and over care. It’ll be easier to cope with if he pulls away.
He has the fruitiest voice, and the utmost beautiful smile. I can’t possibly forget to mention his kind dark brown eyes and his dreamy tall frame. Tell him he’s handsome, tell him you only want him. He’s one of those guys who absolutely need to know he’s wanted.
He loves basketball, you probably already know that because he plays on his school’s team. Don’t make him choose between the person he loves, also known as you, and his childhood past time. It’ll ruin the both of you.
He doesn’t talk about his feelings, it’s as if he completely shut them off. Sure, he’ll say “I love you” but if something’s bothering him, he won’t say a word. So, make him say a word. It’s the only way he’ll trust you, and sadly I couldn’t get a word out of him.
He has a little sister he absolutely despises, I know she’ll love you; because she loved me. Her name is Maddy, and she’s the sweetest little thing, even though he absolutely hates her since she’s so “spoiled”.
He’s probably not going to tell the truth when he tells you he loves you, so instead, believe him when he shows you, he loves you.To the one who loves this certain boy next, please love him. Just a warning, basketball isn’t the only “games” he likes to play, but a piece of advice, he can’t play his games with a girl who plays better.
a.a.
a remake of one of my past poems, just for someone else m.k.j.(via apikaliaa)
The truth is, I’m hopelessly in love with you. I said it many times to you, and I’ll say it many times about you. I’m crazy, I’m obsessive, I’m needy, I’m protective, I don’t care. I fell in love with you, and now I don’t know how to fall out of love. Now I don’t know where to put the memories, how to shake the thought of you and the truth is I fucking miss you. God damn, I want to hate you, I want to feel my blood boil at the thought of you, but I have nothing to hate you for. All you ever did was shower me with love, how could I hate you for making me happy? How could I hate somebody so innocently perfect? I miss you, I miss us, I miss the way you used to look at me and I miss the way you talk. I miss your stupid walk and your gross facial hair, I miss the tiny little things that I used to tease you for because now I don’t get to laugh at them. I took everything for granted, I took our entire relationship for granted because I made up in my head that it was forever, that for once a boy wasn’t lying to me. And I was so damn stupid to think that, to fall in love as if there was no tomorrow because of course you were going to leave and of course you were lying. What do I have that is so special? Nothing, I got nothing. And now you’re gone, gone for good and I’m left here not knowing what the fuck to do. Not knowing where to place all this love and not knowing how to smile on my own. You carried me through so much and dropped me like I was nothing, like everything we went through was all just a dream, and I guess now I’m living a fucking nightmare
I’d give anything to rewind and let you in, anything for you to forgive me. Every time I see so much as a glimpse of you I feel the guilt in my chest and my head starts to spin, but not in a good way like the feeling I got when you wrapped your arms around me on that cold November night, more like the feeling you get right before you pass out. Truth is not being with you only makes me miss you more than ever, and I can’t listen to my favorite songs because I feel a pit in my stomach that I can never seem to get rid of. I still catch myself looking for you even though I know you don’t want to see me. I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up. It’s all I can think about and it’s driving me insane to think about how if I hadn’t ended it, I would’ve found someone who feels the same towards me.
It’s over though. You stopped talking to me, you stopped looking at me. I still get butterflies when you look my way, but you’re never looking at me, I just wish you were.